Wednesday, December 28, 2016


2016 is coming to an end, Love has been asking me about my 2016 these few days. We have just came back from a holiday trip. This year, I have been to Sydney, Nagoya, Tokyo, Taipei and Hong Kong. I hate the flying part but I love being in a different world. It recharges me. I always find that age is catching up, the thing about traveling now is I no longer take as many pictures and I get less fascinated. I hope I dont lose my ooomph that fast.

It has been a year at work. I have nothing to complain about this year, in fact, I am very grateful. At moments of difficulties, it always seems like someone, or something, always lend a helping hand at the nick of the moment. Its like I feel protected. I almost lose my ring when I was in Hong Kong and Love has to order that waffle and while waiting, I have to grumble in my heart, and when the grumbling is about him, I touched my ring and gosh, the ring isnt there! Thats how the series of events go but you get what I mean. There are many instances in 2016 when I felt like this, that I got saved at that very moment when I need it.

You get what I mean.

Stay safe and healthy. Happy 2017!


JOanne thought hard on 11:58:00 AM.

Thursday, June 30, 2016
Hey You

For being my very first and taking me on to many places and spoiling me rotten. My life will never be the same without you. I was so excited because I have never bought such expensive things before and you were my first.

For the many that I've viewed and none capture my heart the way you did. I lay my eyes on you and I knew it has to be you. 

We have spent many private moments. Moments when I was in immense joy, moments when I cannot stop crying, moments when I felt alone and lost (literally and utmost times) and moments when I think you are the only one for me.

Then, this came...
Indeed, it was on impulse. Our remaining days were spent with me half guilty for not wanting you anymore. I told your new owner how much I have loved you and you will continue to hold a special place in my heart. I hope she will treat you better than I do. I haven't been the best owner, thank you for the companionship, thank you for roughing it out with me and thank you for all the times and love :)

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JOanne thought hard on 11:03:00 AM.

Monday, June 13, 2016

It is going to be a long night, perhaps shorter than tomorrow. 

The first funeral I can remember was my maternal great grandmother. I was young and perhaps didn't really manage to grasp the concept of death. I remember running around, I remember being scolded by the adults that we were being too noisy. I remember thinking to myself that the dead can't hear us, why are the adults saying that we are too disturbing. I remember green and blue, I remember the prayers which I stand so tired and behind the line because I was ranked too young in the family. There were always commotion and I can never make up what was exactly happening.

11 years ago, Grandma left us. That one hit me real bad and it really took me a while to get over it. Because, it was something so unexpected, she has been healthy. Because, it was always like this - she has been in hospitals. Because she has been healthy. What we didn't know was that things have changed and no one ever noticed. It seems like yesterday really. I remember her in tubes, I remember my heart in pain because I do not understand how she seem so normal just two days ago and now end up like that. I remember the tears and the helplessness, was she in pain? Does the tubes help her? I remember not being to sleep and when I did, I woke up to feelings of surreality. I remember sitting up on my bed asking myself if she did leave me. I remember the pencil case she bought for me for my birthday when I was 10. It was so expensive but it was like a little gadget and everyone in school was fascinated with that. I just remember that she was perhaps the only one who didn't really treated me like I was a first born.

The last night, I remember myself lying beside the coffin tearing, and I teared myself to sleep. The drums was so loud and I woke up to the procession and I cried again. So, everything is real. She is in a coffin. The bus journey there is all clouded and I can't remember anything except trying to understand why my cousin can be so composed while I just can't stop crying. I get attached to things with all my heart and soul pretty fast and this is my grandmother who loves me and I love, so I cried. It was so tiring and I shuttle between crying and asleep and we reached the crematorium. The pain continues to plague me thereafter. When I bring her up, I feel that pain in my heart. I will always have that regret. 

This time, Love's Uncle who is also his godpa. He has love us. I remember him with egg tarts, bak kwa, yakcult and potong ice cream. He will offer us food and he bought us out for dinner. I shunned away from funerals ever since Grandma passed away because the funeral brings back the emotions I have for Grandma. It has been a while and at every turn here reminds me of Grandma. I have a new grandma now, she is actually Love's grandma. She is 93 this year. It is so heartbreaking to see a mother send off her son. I really cannot bear that sight. We are all worried for her. She told me last night that she doesn't want to be in the house alone with the maids. I wanted her to rest so I wheeled her up against her will. 

Every departure is sad. The memories and the fact that someone is leaving you forever is heartbreaking. We can't make people stay forever and at this stage, I come to realize everything eventually might not matter as much as you make it to be. Sometimes, being contented and cherishing what you have is all that you can and should do. 

Stay safe and happy.


JOanne thought hard on 4:28:00 AM.

Thursday, April 14, 2016
What Alice forgot

It is a coincidence, otherwise, it is all because of age.

It was my birthday last month and I was looking back a decade and more to what I have achieved. I just finished a book yesterday night and it was about this lady who lost a decade of her memories. That decade happens to be one that has went through plenty of changes for her. In that decade, she gave birth to 3 children of which now, she has no idea who they are.

I love getting books when I travel. Its like a piece that I bring with me how that after spending some time in that country, I would be able to appreciate the stories of that place more. It works sometimes. It is good that I can put a picture to the description in the story but sometimes, it doesn't work that way and I got to know more about the place that I have just visited.

Being able to forget is a skill. Being able to time travel is impossible. Perhaps, it should never be made possible otherwise, it will get pretty chaotic. Don't you think so?

This is a book that makes you think back about your life. It makes you recall. What happens if you meet the younger you? Will your friends still love you? Will your friends stay the same? Will feelings change? What goes up comes down, will that be the same for the feelings? Do they also go through the same business cycle?

FORGET is a big word. It is always a crossroad to whether should you forget or remember. Everyone seems to think that if I can forget then I can move on but the memories and the emotion might just keep gushing, you do not bear to forget. Reminds me of the Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind. As you go through the things once again that you have been dying to forget, would your decision stay the same?

Oh oh oh, it is just a book that I have read, it doesn't mean that I am trying to be emo. I used to write about the books I read so that I can remember them better. I miss reading and writing about them so, this post is that. It is still the school holiday!

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JOanne thought hard on 4:35:00 PM.

Monday, March 14, 2016
The first of 2016

Hi 21 year old Joanne,

If there is a parallel world and you happen to stumble upon this, hi.

If my memory doesn't fail me, you must be so excited about turning 21. School doesn't seem like a problem then and university seems to be a breeze other than the dreadful thesis (soon to come for you). You are attached to a boy and other than money, everything is good. Actually, money ain't that bad too but you were just too mercenary to begin with and you always wanted more. Well, perhaps you might be disappointed, you will still not be rich, at least I didn't.

Today, I treasure my family more than anyone and that boy in your class, that weird boy who pretended to skip around the corridors and played catching? He is my husband now. I don't know how, but it just happened, somehow, everything falls into place and the next I know, he become someone so important I can't even recall the steps. We own our little space now and yesterday, his family celebrated my birthday with me. Remember the envy you had when he said he needs to go back home to bring his girlfriend a sweater? Now, you have become that someone, you have become that someone that matters to him. It is funny how things work out right?

No, you didn't marry Andy Lau. He did not visit Singapore as often and even if he has come, I sort of stopped following him around. Those crowd, please. I think I am getting kinda old for those things. I watched a drama which you really like then and today, I don't like it at all. I can't even finished episode 3.

What have I accomplish for you then? That ambition you had since you were 10? I did help you achieve that. So, there is nothing much that you should worry. There is nothing that should remove that smile from your face. You do not have a lot of money now but you have enough. Enjoy being 21 and the turbulence in the decade to come. Changes are heading your way and they are all for a good cause.

Happy Birthday!


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JOanne thought hard on 4:49:00 PM.

Thursday, September 03, 2015
The year of 2015

I'm getting worse in keeping up. I realised  I've not written a single thing for 2015.

Giving you a little of what has happened so far, this is a photo taken in Jan this year. We have since shifted, it is coming to 10 weeks since we have shifted and we are comfortable in our little crib. It is simple but it was something we wanted. Staying on our own also give us freedom. It is really a world on our own and we can do whatever we want. The space is big for just the both of us and we are enjoying it.
I have too much time in my hands though. As usual I guess, ever since my career change. When I made the switch, I have made plans, some plans did made it, some didn't and I'm still waiting for it to come. Talking about job, it is still a wonderful job although there is not much to say about the team.
I also turned older just like every other year. It has never occur to me when I was young that eventually, I'll have all these things coming. I have a loving husband who loves me and someone I love to stick to. I have a loving family although at times, they can be weird. I learn anyway, to love each other's flaws and to accept, I try to be understanding although at times, it does get trying. I am still learning to be content with what I have.
This is me just trying to be groovy. The pen is beneath a glass coffee table and my hand above the glass table. I'm famished now and waiting for my friends to come. They are eternally late and I do not know why I will want to believe them in the first place. 

And... I am going to abruptly end. :p this place is also horrible. I have been sitting here for the past 30 minutes and no one actually cared about me. It's Da Paolo at the Club street by the way. All the staff smokes outside, not knowing that the smell does travel inside the eatery since it is so small. I wonder am I the only table around tonight. Now, I hope the food will make up for it, because the passive smoking is sure going to harm my lungs. They sure can smoke non-stop. 

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JOanne thought hard on 6:49:00 PM.

Wednesday, December 31, 2014
The end of 2014

It's late and I can't get to sleep. I must have nap too much this afternoon. Work has officially stopped since Xmas eve and I've been lazing since and that's the beauty of my job. The flexibility and time I have to myself makes leaving painful. I actually feel kinda hungry now.

Since it's the last day of the year, I thought I pen something. It has been an eventful year. I got married and I turned 30.

That is us outside the Registry of Marriage after the drama saga we put ourselves in. Somehow, both of us were so relaxed about the whole thing, we got the opening hours wrong. I bet I'm the only bride to have rushed in, in slippers. All the brides were dressed to their nines and there I am, lost and totally panicking that I'll not be getting my wedding certificate. So much so for being easy peasy~

Marriage has been pretty much the usuals. I now wake up to this person I vow to love. I have seriously never been happier, this man understands me and he always feed me. Haha! That's super important to me. We talk a lot and we still do and we bicker like non-stop, we just irritate each other to the maximum and it is super fun. I feel so lucky because I realised this man turns my day around and make everything else seem negligible. No matter how bad a day becomes, at the end of the day, coming back being in his arms changes all things and I become happy again. I'm still trying to be a good wife and this is a journey I've chosen.

And... That's the biggest thing that has happened this year - me marrying the man I love. :p

As I aged, I'm also learning to love. I'm also learning to be content and learning to cherish what I have. 

So, randomly, these are some of the photos. I have an additional family now. 

That's us, both families coming together in one trip. I really like such trips because we get to come together and both the mummies can talk.

I rarely talk about my work here but in 2015, I think I really have much to work on. Many things are at stake now and to be frank, I'm not exactly happy where I am. I have limited control but I've never subjected myself to anything less. Being not ambitious is one thing but I've never allow myself to be short-changed in any way, so the same goes for this time. If I have to fight, then, I will.
Hahaha, I know a plate of failed waffles to present my work is not entirely suitable but this plate of waffles was done by the kids and this best sums up my job. Furthermore, the waffles are made in Seoul.

The house is coming yo~ 

:p totally random pic to end the post. It has been a year filled with bizzare news. Planes went missing and then, there were irrational people who went on a massacre and shootings. Maybe the world is turning crazy from those spinning on the axis. 

Totally cheesy but I wish for world peace for 2015 and for the people I love to be safe and happy. See you in 2015.

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JOanne thought hard on 2:47:00 AM.